Summer Shoes for When You Hate Showing Your Toes

It needs to be said that I cannot stand the site of toes. I really, genuinely, don’t want to see anyone’s toes, ever. I don’t even like my own feet. What’s the opposite of a foot fetish? Whatever it is, I have that. It’s hot out, I get it, but have some decency! I feel the same way about open-toed shoes about wearing flip flops and jeans together: maybe good in your mind, but kind of gross to everyone else. I would also like to formally apologize to anyone who stands by their toes. I hope I’m not offending you.

I’m not sure when this all started. I’m sure that, at one point or another, I wore open-toed sandals and loved it. Flip-flops, even. But then, about a year or so ago, I made the conscious decision to never reveal my feet again. I also am pretty lazy when it comes to pedicures, so the added expense just didn’t make sense. Now that I’m a perpetually broke postgrad, it makes even less sense.

This only causes a problem for three months a year, when the weather inches past the seventy-degree mark. All at once, it’s like all of New York City throws away their booties and sneakers with willful abandon in favor of the thinnest, strappiest, sandals. It makes me want to die. It might be that New York is an incredibly dirty place, but the idea of my bare feet being anywhere near the pavement is enough to send me into a fit

You might look at me and say Julia, what about closed-toed mules? Don’t even get me started. I was about to invest in a pair of Gucci slides last summer, but then I had a horrible day nightmare (daymare?) of a steamy summer morning spent running for the subway in which one of my slides falls off of my foot and leaves me in contact with the grimiest of floors: the subway platform. I ran out of Bloomingdales in a terror.

Now, if only barely-there sandals weren’t the biggest shoe trend of the summer season. They are everywhere. The worst part? Literally everyone I’ve seen in them looks amazing. But I can’t get over the idea of walking around outside in a pair of shoes held together by a centimeter-wide strap of leather or suede. This pair of sandals by The Row has been on everyone’s shopping list recently, and for good reason. They’re probably the perfect wedding guest/brunch/family dinner shoe on the market. But you won’t see me in them, or any pair like them, this year. NO THANKS.

So, if you’re anything like me, summer can pose a problem in the footwear department. You don’t want to be left with sweaty feet, but you also don’t want to leave your feet open to the elements. Revel in the delight of not having to worry about sashing your feet at the end of the day.

From espadrilles to booties, check out my picks below.

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