My Freshman year of college is halfway over, and I’m not really sure where the time has gone.
I fly back to Los Angeles tomorrow, and I find myself having flashbacks to August. My bags (er…bag) is packed and up by the door, my family is talking of future plans when “one of the bedrooms is free again”, and everything seems to be moving forward….without me.
Sure, there’s a lot waiting for me at school: Rush is in a few weeks, friends are waiting for me already (‘I’ve seen enough snapchat stories to know) and I’m definitely excited to be there, but I’ve grown some kind of attachment to being home again. Sure, it’s the same people and the same house – aside from all the construction – but I myself feel completely different, therefore altering my attachment to the people here. I feel like some kind of ghost, a part of things but not quite. Missing six months means you miss the day-to-day happenings that bring families together. Although we make our own memories, my experience of the past semester is obviously different than there’s, making it hard to relate. I wish I was there for the had-to-be-there moments.
Being far away has its perks. I have a separate life. I have choices and memories that I hold to myself and that are completely hidden in the three thousand miles between JFK and LAX. This idea is oddly refreshing. In the past six months I’ve grown into my own type of person because there hasn’t been anyone telling me no you can’t go out or you’re not allowed to see that person. I make my own choices and my own mistakes. I wake up some days with dirty laundry and spoiled milk in the fridge but it’s that spoiled milk and that laundry that forces me forward into adult life. Obviously these are moot issues, but not being coddled is something I’ve learned to love.
Being away at school is a completely life altering experience. No matter where you go, you’re not at home. You don’t have that comfort of your bed and your old life, and even though you may rerun home for breaks, It’s not the same home as it was before. I personally have grown multitudes in the past six months, and I can’t wait to see what is different when I come home in June. I’ll have had nine months of independence under my belt, and that is something I truly am looking forward to.